The Menorah’s Powerful Chinuch Messages

This week’s Parasha opens with a discussion of the Menorah. Consistently throughout the Torah, we find the word עליה (going up) used for the act of lighting rather than the more common term הדלקה.  Rashi in his commentary explains that the word makes sense because a flame goes upward. However, Chazal find deeper reasons for the Torah’s choice of language since it’s the less common term. Rashi brings two of the explanations. Firstly, the word עליה teaches that the Cohen is required to hold the fire to the unlit wick until it remains lit, goes up by itself. Otherwise, it’s not considered an acceptable lighting. Alternatively, Chazal understand the word עולה to mean מעלה-steps. We are taught that a small set of steps was placed in front of the Menorah so the Cohen could ascend it when lighting. The steps were largely symbolic because most Cohanim were tall enough to stand at  ground level and light it.

HaRav Moshe Feinstein, זצ״ל, finds in these statements made by Chazal powerful Chinuch messages. He sees in the requirement of holding the fire to the unlit wick until it remains lit by itself, as the definition of successful teaching. Rebeyiim and teachers need to make sure that before a lesson is completed the students have achieved a level of mastery-a thorough understanding and knowledge of the topic or skill to independently and confidently demonstrate their learning.

The other message, the symbolism of the steps in its relationship to the Chinuch process, requires a deeper understanding because as we said, the Cohen didn’t need the steps to light the Menorah. However, given its height, approximately six feet, the average size  person could light it but not easily.  Therefore, the lesson is, in the same way the Cohen ascended the steps in order to perform a superior job of lighting, by looking down on the Menorah to ensure that the wicks would remain lit after he removed the flame, so to, when Rebeyiim and Morot instruct their students, they need to be able to properly assess mastery. In other words, the symbolism of “standing on the steps” in the chinuch realm is the notion of quality student assessment as a major component of teaching and instruction. As if to say, by not “standing on the steps”, at best, the assessment process is cursory, and cursory is not always sufficient.

Assessment is usually a term associated with the instruction-learning paradigm that we find in a school setting. In that realm, research tells us that proper assessment serves as a powerful tool to drive up student achievement.  From the research in the field of education we find that the opposite is worth mentioning. Teachers who are not employing accurate assessments at strategic points in the lessons are likely to be negatively and even in some cases severely impacting student motivation and growth.

The two messages of the Menorah are important for parents as well. The idea of holding the fire to the unlit lamp until it remains lit by itself speaks to the importance of proper communication between adults and children. Too often, children are unsure of what is expected of them. Parents make assumptions that children “get what they mean.” Just like in the school setting, research bears out that misbehaviour is a result of  children not knowing precisely what is expected of them.

An essential companion to this idea is becoming an effective listener when your children have something to say. We find many children are literally starving for adult attention-to listen to what they have on their minds. Effective listening ensures that parents put their full attention on their children. They benefit greatly when their parents listen well. First, parents demonstrate understanding of the message and secondly, they sense parent concern and empathy. This results in children  becoming emotionally uplifted.

The symbolism of the Kohanim standing on the steps and looking down upon the Menorah as he  lights it, is interpreted as an important messaging for raising children by Rabbi Jonathon Rietti.  He sees the lesson of the steps in  the word על in the phrase על פי דרכו – (educate a child) according to his way. The word על –up or on hints that when a teacher or parent is dealing with a child, he must employ the birds eye view, to look down and see the big picture.  Rabbi Rietti bemoans the fact that adults deal with children either in an educational or behaviour situation without understanding the whole child in context. Seeing the big picture often reveals the real reasons for children’s  behaviors.

He tells the story of a mother of a 7-year-old boy who called him exasperated because her son was sent home from school for asking the teacher how old she was. The principal took it as an act of being cheeky. Rabbi Rietti asked if he could speak to the child for a moment. He asked the child why he asked his teacher her age. He said, someone told him that her birthday was tomorrow, and he bought her a birthday card and wanted to include her age in his short note to her. Point well made.

Rabbi Rietti’s insight promotes the importance of avoiding superficiality in the chinuch process. The pasuk, al pi darko- educate a child according to his way, insists on knowing the child as a prerequisite to educating a child. It’s obvious, when the Torah requires us to know something, it means to really know something thoroughly. There is no such thing as superficiality in Torah Judaism.

This idea is further reinforced in an excellent short and concise book, Say What You See by Sandra Blackard. The essential message of this book is for parents to increase enhanced communication with children.  She defines enhanced communication as digging beneath the surface of what the child is communicating to really understand the child’s message, like the story of the little boy inquiring about the age of his teacher. Similarly, when something is bothering a child, he will often reach out to his parents in one of the conventional children communicating methods, calling out, screaming, misbehaving, having a tantrum, etc. Parents who are not timely to his SOS and/or are not showing understanding of what is really bothering him because they did not dig down deep enough, can cause children to develop a lack of trust in their parents, even with long term ramifications.

I encourage parents to approach all aspects of the chinuch of their children in a mindful thought-out approach. An easy and demonstrative step in making a commitment to remove superficiality from you chinuch approach is the purchase of the book, Say What You See.

For parents, as part of your campaign against superficiality in the educating of your children, reflect on the quality of education your children are receiving in school. Is the management of the school and its teachers approaching their profession with depth and mindfulness. For example, does the key school personnel who work with your children really understand them.

I encourage parents and teachers to contact me if you are experiencing pain in fulfilling the awesome responsibility of educating and raising children. Let me help you.